


Snuff

by RatingHyperion



Category: All fandoms, Hatfilms, Sherlock - Fandom, Supernatural, Yogscast
Genre: Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Loss, M/M, Other, break-up, multifandom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 16:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1476160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatingHyperion/pseuds/RatingHyperion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the one you love leaves? All because of something you've said or done?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snuff

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic I originally wrote for the Xephna tag. I then changed it because I wanted people to try and guess the pairing on Tumblr and then decided to make it a multi-fandom story. It's based off the song Snuff by Slipknot (go and have a listen, you'll get the atmosphere for the story). Also, please read the notes at the end.

Bury all your secrets in my skin  
Come away with innocence  
Leave me with my sins

After everything they had gone through. All the running, the building, the fighting and the secrets they told each other. All it took was one mistake after another and in the end, it left him with nothing. He had tried to beg for forgiveness but he knew it wouldn’t happen. He watched as the one he loved walk out of the door, his innocence intact but leaving the broken man crumpled on the floor with his heart broken and surrounded with the memories playing over in his head.

The air around me still feels like a cage  
Love is just a camouflage  
Of what resembles rage again

It had been weeks now. He moped around the house, the house that felt like a prison and a cage. All their pictures littered the walls and as he looked at them, he felt something. He wasn’t sure what it was. He tried to convince himself that it was love but really, he knew what it was. He didn’t stop thinking about what had happened, even when he slept. The argument that pushed it too far, the fact that the last argument they had split them apart.

So if you love me let me go  
And run away before I know  
My heart is just to dark to care  
You can’t destroy what isn’t there

His mind went over the words over and over. There were days that started to blur together. He had pushed all of his friends away and locked the doors. He didn’t want them to see him like this. His lover told him to let him go if he truly cherished their relationship. It was the hardest thing he had done but he finally let go and he hated that fact. Letting go had destroyed him and he finally became numb to the pain. 

Deliver me into my fate  
If I’m alone I cannot hate  
I don’t deserve to have you  
My smile was taken long ago  
If I can change I hope I never know

The days were blurring together. He stopped smiling. He started drinking. He finally caved into the pain and admitted that he didn’t deserve them. He didn’t deserve anyone. He didn’t know how he could change, if he even could and if he did then he didn’t want to know. He thought that being alone would be better for them both but that wasn’t the case. He thought that being along meant he could move on and he wouldn’t feel the need to hate anyone anymore. 

I still press your letters to my lips  
And cherish them in parts of me  
That savour every kiss

He had emptied the box out on the floor. He stared at all the letters they had written each other in secret. All the little notes they passed back and forth to each at work and on their break. The little notes they had left on each others work stations or beds. Reading them brought back all the memories and it felt like it was killing him. He cherished every single one of them though. They would never fail to sink into him.

I couldn’t face a life without your light  
But all of that was ripped apart  
When you refused to fight

There was only one person who managed to get in. There was no denying that his best friend wouldn’t stop trying till he got in and only he knew about the entrance into his basement. After hours of talking and arguing, he told the other man that he didn’t want to fight anymore. He didn’t want to continue living a lie and pretending he was happy when he wasn’t. He hated himself and it was painfully clear when he looked up at him.

So save your breath I will not care  
I think I made it very clear  
You couldn’t hate enough to love  
Was that supposed to be enough?

Looking in the mirror, he saw the shell of the man he once was. He screamed arguments to himself in the mirror and he didn’t realise that he was hallucinating due to the alcohol. He spent most nights yelling at the mirror and it got to the point where he had no voice in the morning. There were nights that he didn’t sleep due to the amount of yelling and self hate and so, he drank more and more until he couldn’t see straight.

I only wish you weren’t my friend  
Then I could hurt you in the end  
I never claimed to be a saint  
My own was banished long ago  
It took the death of hope to let you go

Some of his friends had managed to bust into his house. By the time they got in there, the smell of alcohol was overpowering. They found him slumped in the corner of the room with paper clenched tightly in his hand. They struggled to wake him up and in fear, rung for an ambulance. The one who left him was amongst the group of worried friends. One of them opened the paper and managed to read the scruffy handwriting.

So break yourself against my stones  
And spit your pity in my soul  
You never needed any help.  
You sold me out to save yourself

There was more than one page attached to the note that was clenched tightly in his hand. While they were sat in the waiting room of the hospital, they read through the other pages. They knew what the words meant and they knew this was his way of punishing himself. The other put the pages down and stood up. Sleeves were pulled over clenched hands as eyes were wiped at furiously. If only the slam of the front door and the destruction hadn’t meant what it did. This wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

And I won’t listen to your shame  
You ran away you’re all the same  
Angels lie to keep control  
My love was punished long ago  
If you still care, don’t ever let me go

A few weeks had passed and it was all over. The doctors couldn’t save him and he eventually died of alcohol poisoning and his liver failing him. The funeral was dark and it was raining. A bit clichéd really but they couldn’t control the weather. He hadn’t died quickly though. It had taken a few days for his body to finally give up. He had woken up briefly enough for them all to say goodbye and for him to say thank you to his friends. All of them, except one. Even at the end they fought and argued but at the end, his final words were for him pleading not be let go if they still cared about him.

It never happened. No matter how much they tried to keep him alive, his body couldn’t handle it and he died in his sleep. Peacefully and in no pain, surrounded by his friends. The only family he had.

**Author's Note:**

> First time I've written a songfic. I am practicing writing them more and more but any constructive feedback is advised :)


End file.
